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Dale and The Labrador leavings

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Now that I have gotten older doesn’t mean I have mellowed or became withdrawn, almost the opposite.

I have became more inventive and definitely vindictive. Not mean or belligerent, probably a shade on the ornery side, that’s what I’d call it.

Case in point, let me tell you about an engineer who I considered to be book smart but street stupid. These kind of people are so focused on their education, they have overlooked the fact that the rest of the world does not conform to the beat of the same band. This fella was determined and stubborn, I think he thought his was the way we should all go blindly.

To give you an idea of how far out of what I call normal he would go, this individual would pull off his socks after walking to work. He would then put them on the wooden rail that ran under his office desk.

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It took about a week to saturate the room with locker room stink, and pretty soon it was quite evident when you walked by his office. I asked the maintenance engineer (Nick the janitor) about it and that’s when I found out about his sick little habit.

I pegged this guy as a social misfit and definitely misguided, what a yahoo. There were several draftsman for a group of engineers, and I was one of them. Dale was a newly hired engineer, maybe he would come around eventually. Oh no, it got worse! I knew he didn’t have his own computer, and I didn’t mind him occasionally using the one I had, that is until he screwed up.

Anyone with an ounce of gray matter knew from the get-go that you did not put a cup of any liquid near the keyboard. That was a cardinal sin! I came back from lunch one day and found this individual setting at my desk, using my computer which was not a big deal but I freaked out when I saw the cup. I pointed it out telling him that doing it was taboo.

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He looked at me like I was a moron, said he wasn’t clumsy and not to worry about it. Well fella, what you don’t know is now you have made an enemy, I’m pretty sure that I do not like him. I forgave him this time, and thought it would be the last time, I was wrong. Every time he appeared, that cup came with. I did mention it to our supervisor, he said he would talk to him.

Between the socks and the cup and other annoying antics I finally decided I have had enough. Over a period of several weeks, I had been leaving anonymous little notes on the desk about the sock stink. It didn’t change anything. So I decided something more drastic needed to be done.

I went home and went out in the yard and scooped up the oldest pile of dog-do that I could find. I put it in a baggie and found a small cardboard box to put it in. I wrote the address of our building on it and took it to the post office where a friend of mine worked. I asked him to hand stamp the box like it came through the mail.

Yeah, I told him what was in the box. I then took that box back to the office with a note inside that said “this will make your gym locker smelling office smell better” and left it. This one took effect and quick! When Dale came back from lunch he had found the box and had opened it. Now he freaked out, who could have sent this to him? This was hilarious, everyone in the department was laughing!

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Still those socks stayed. So I got another small box a couple of days later and did the same thing only this time I just put a small rock wrapped in a paper towel with no note. I know he didn’t open it, I saw it in the garbage can next to his desk still sealed up.

The next day the socks were gone and Nick the janitor told me he was asked to “perfume” the office. Not more than a month later, I guess he figured out he wasn’t appreciated enough to stay there any longer, he transferred to another project.

No one ever did figure out what it was that got him to remove those socks, no matter how much everyone kidded him about it. They did talk a lot about the first box or the second one, maybe it was someone from the outside that sent it. When he left though, it was obvious folks all over the floor did not miss him. Not one little bit.

That was long ago, I enjoyed it, now a more mischievous nature blossomed from within.

Do you really think that I wouldn’t do something like that? Oh come on, this is just one of many other shenanigans I am guilty of. To find out more, please stop by to read more on “what happens on Pops perspective.”

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