Things I Did To A Friend Once


If ya get someone to question your intelligence in front of a few acquaintances, there has to be retribution, right? I thought so. I am not too sure what it was that started all this but I do know he got it. Life is good.

This was one of those occasions when you know there is a need to remind others just how imaginative you can be. I couldn’t resist this chance, it just came to me while I was daydreaming on day. What a stroke of genius!

What I did was take a bed sheet, an old small one and thumb-tacked it to the front door frame of a buddy that lived next door to me. This was late at night of course but not that late. I unscrewed the outside light bulb because I didn’t need to be seen by the neighbors.

After carefully putting up the sheet, I took some of those Styrofoam packing peanuts and rolled them between my hands crumbling them into saw dust. If you do that to those little peanuts, the static in them is terrible, it sticks to everything. Anyway, I took several large plastic bags of them and poured them into the top portion of the door frame where I had left the bed sheet hanging loose.

Now the best part of all of this is I knew he would come out the front door to get the paper in the morning, and I knew he had hardwood floors for an entry way. But I forgot about the little foo foo dog he had too. This only gets better. Because the little dog freaked when the door came open, and all that Styrofoam came tumbling down onto the floor. All the running around and barking, I could only imagine when he told me.


But now to the rest of the story. When those little pieces start getting spread around, or someone tries to sweep them up, disaster strikes! They stick to anything and everything. Oh sure, use a vacuum to suck them up. Mistake! The hose looks like a caterpillar now and they will not rub off. The more you try to get them confined the more places they go.

I am setting in my chair and Dennis calls me. He doesn’t have nice things to say, calls me all kinds of nasty things. I ask how he figures it was me? He says the floor is full of Styrofoam peanuts and they are everywhere. It definitely was me! He explains about the broom and the vac saying they’re useless. I tell him I know how to make all that go away, for a price. It was a bit before he answered, “OK, how much?” “i want you to wear a tag saying ‘he was right’ at work.”

Again, a slight delay. “Alright, how do I fix this?” I said, “simple, get a small plastic spray bottle and fill it with water, then spray the stuff lightly, that will break the static charge and you will be able to gather them up easily.”

It did take them a bit to pick up all those little pieces, the dog didn’t like being sprayed with water though, that was too bad. Oh well, I enjoyed it, he thought it was real funny too, especially when he had to explain the little tag he wore to work the next day.


He threw the old sheet away, I really didn’t want it back anyway. I could always use that antic again somewhere else on some soul who deserved it.

Yes, there are things that I have done over the years, most of it was harmless but very effective. I even had more fun when I was in the military environment, those poor souls got to know me real well. Please come on back to read more on “what happened at Pops perspective”

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